


I'll Be Your Shelter

by h_itoshi



Category: Ikuta Toma - Fandom, Johnny's Entertainment, Yamashita Tomohisa - Fandom
Genre: Hinted relationship yamapi/inoo, I've never written Toma before I hope he's okay, M/M, Office AU, exchange fic, high school pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-23 01:34:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17673911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/h_itoshi/pseuds/h_itoshi
Summary: The opportunity to move in with Yamapi just seemed perfect, and even though a small voice at the back of his head tried to warn him about resurfacing feelings, Toma decided to ignore it. So many years had passed after all, there were no feelings left.





	I'll Be Your Shelter

**Author's Note:**

> This is written as a gift for the je_united exchange, where I honestly had NO IDEA what to do with my assignment, before I finally settled on this. I have never written Toma before so a friend gave me a crash course and I did a massive amount of research, and now I'm kind of into the guy heh.   
> I stole the title from a Rent song because I thought the theme was suiting but none of the lyrics appealed much to me on their own, so. The title is what it is xD

 

 

Toma draws a deep breath, not sure if it's to brace or calm himself, he just knows that he needs it. It smells like rich cologne and home, like a slightly sweaty suit from a long day at work as usual. But everything is not as usual.

The door lock clicks shut and Toma's back hits the smooth surface of the door with a dull thunk, strong arms holding him right where he is and it's all he ever wanted.

He expects to be ravished, secretly wishes it to happen, but instead he finds himself surprised at how gentle the kiss pressed to his parted lips is. The kiss says all the things Yamapi doesn't speak, asks for forgiveness and permission at the same time, and Toma's willing to give him anything he asks for.

He feels starched fabric under his own fingertips and realizes he's grasped the lapels of Yamapi's expensive suit jacket, and he doesn't hesitate before pulling at them to force Yamapi closer.

A shaky sigh grazes the air as Toma flicks his tongue against the seam of Yamapi's lips, and he's not sure who made the sound, only that it sounds relieved.

 

~*~

 

When they were in school together, Yamapi was popular and pretty, but he wasn't made of muscles back then like he is now. But he was always obsessed with looking his best, spending much more time in the mornings than anyone else doing his hair and messing up his uniform just enough to make it look like he woke up in it.

In his defence, it was a couple of shallow years. Toma got highlights back then and got scolded by just about everyone except Yamapi, who claimed it looked cool despite looking anything but cool. Yamapi always had his back.

Toma wants to say he's not entirely sure why they drifted apart after high school, but deep down he knows.

After all, you can't be friends with someone who's in love with you.

He never said anything, but he's pretty sure Yamapi knew, at least towards the end. That serious look sometimes, the small jerk when Toma reached out for him. It wasn't surprising, Yamapi was a very straight boy with girls confessing to him all the time. He was pretty and funny and attractive and Toma was just... Toma. And even though it hurt, he figured it was probably for the best that the time passing between their mails got longer and longer until they stopped writing.

Until a month ago, when Toma stepped out of the office belonging to the head of human resources where he'd just signed his employment contract, and walked straight into an adult version of Yamapi.

They'd only stared at each other for a moment, before Yamapi started laughing, and Toma couldn't help joining him, immediately reverting back to being 16 years old. Yamapi insisted on taking him out to eat, and Toma explained the route he'd taken through university to here, saying he was newly back in town and currently stayed at a cheap hostel while waiting for an apartment.

And obviously, Yamapi offered Toma to move into his apartment, he had all this space he didn't need anyway, and Toma didn't have it in him to say no. The opportunity just seemed perfect, and even though a small voice at the back of his head tried to warn him about resurfacing feelings, Toma decided to ignore it. So many years had passed after all; there were no feelings left.

Except there was.

It took about 43 minutes after Toma moved in for Yamapi to drop a box on his foot and start whining about how much it hurt, how all Toma's shit was so heavy and how the hell could he even own this many books. And Toma realized that Yamapi hadn't changed one bit, and he himself hadn't changed enough.

 

~*~

 

Yamapi's kisses are mind blowing, and Toma doesn't have any control left over his limbs as he's pushed down against a mattress, his only focus to keep holding on to the man above him. The sheets smell like Yamapi all over and it's intoxicating, keeping him dizzy and it's all for the best. If he wasn't so turned on he might cry over the simple fact that he's in Yamapi's bed, finally, after all this time.

His suit jacket is left somewhere on the way to the bedroom, and Yamapi shrugs out of his own like its presence annoys him, and Toma's fingers naturally land on the buttons of his shirt instead. Yamapi's skin is radiating heat through the thin fabric, and Toma can't help spreading his palms over it, soaking up heat from the swelling muscles underneath and he makes a faint noise at the sensation.

A noise that makes Yamapi growl, a thigh sliding between Toma's legs to unapologetically spread them as Yamapi leans down to press an open mouthed kiss against his throat.

 

~*~

 

It didn't take long at his new job for Toma to understand that if there was anything Yamapi was really good at, it was sleeping around. He wasn't surprised, and barely even fazed, until he realized that the current victim offering Yamapi a place in their bed was the chief of Toma's department.

Sweetly vicious, pouty lipped and big eyed, well dressed, somehow always a little messy haired and with eyes that never seemed to smile even if the mouth did. Inoo Kei. A man.

Toma remembers the exact moment he figured it out, the implicating comment and Inoo's dirty smile in response, but he doesn't know exactly what was said because everything just went blank in his mind, veins filled with ice instead of blood. He managed to excuse himself and sneak off to the bathroom without fainting, his blood pressure suddenly out of control as the realization made him nauseous enough that he had to sit down on the floor.

Yamapi with a man.

It took two days for him to work up the courage to confront Yamapi about it, but Yamapi just shrugged with a nasty grin and said that yeah, Inoo really was a filthy slut.

It was disturbing in several ways, both the dismissive way Yamapi spoke about his supposed lover, but also how there was no note to the homosexuality as something strange. Like it had always existed, and Toma had no idea how to deal with that.

The most apparent consequence of his realization was unfortunately that he suddenly couldn't stop looking at Inoo.

Meetings were the worst, as they were the only times he had to spend an hour watching Inoo Kei. Watch his long fingers and imagine them over Yamapi's muscles, his half long hair spread out over a pillow and plush lips parted to let out sounds of pleasure.

He tried to think of other things, tried to focus on the meeting currently at hand, but he couldn't and it made him so irritated with himself. He was more professional than that.

But when he for not the first time lost focus during a meeting due to his mind spiraling down the gutter, he wasn't surprised when Inoo asked him to stay behind when the meeting was over.

“I'm really sorry, I'll pay better attention next time.” Toma apologized the second the last colleague left the room, bowing as low as he could while still standing.

“Mm, don't worry about that.” The constant sharpness in Inoo's voice was covered by velvet this time, and Toma looked up to face a mischievous expression on his features, which should make him look less superior but somehow just made him more intimidating. “I'm curious as to where your focus keeps going. Don't think I don't notice how you look at me.”

Toma felt his eyes widen, and Inoo's smile widened in symmetry as he took in Toma's shocked expression.

“No no, that's not it at a-” Toma started, but he was cut off by a finger suddenly laid across his lips.

“Shh.” Inoo told him, way too close and Toma felt a little sick as he smelled the cologne Yamapi sometimes returned with remains of. “No need to be shy about it. You're cute, if you'd ever feel like it.”

And there was a suggestive look before Inoo simply picked up his papers to leave the room, and Toma was left with a lot of emotions he didn't want. Disgusted at the proposition, heartbroken at how what Inoo and Yamapi had clearly meant nothing to either of them, and everything just felt so unfair.

 

~*~

 

Toma would like to take his time to undress the man above him, to push him down and slowly pop the buttons, reveal an inch of skin at a time, but there's no time. His hands are shaking as he impatiently tugs at the buttons while Yamapi's hands explore Toma's bare chest, entirely disinterested in his own disrobing.

Toma's first vocal moan slips his lips as Yamapi purposely rolls a nipple between his fingers, and apparently that's interesting enough that Yamapi pushes Toma's useless hands away in order to lean down. The suckling kisses to his chest and nipples makes him arch, moan and make other pathetic noises that he shouldn't be making with his pants still on, but he can't help it. His hands fist in Yamapi's straightened hair, hips pushing up on their own and he's so hard he's not sure he's going to last.

 

~*~

 

Toma had finally started thinking that he could cope with the relationship before him, when it suddenly ended.

Yamapi came home irritated and muttering, slamming doors before angrily setting a whiskey glass on the living room table without saying anything. So Toma couldn't help but ask if something was wrong, and Yamapi went straight into the story of how Inoo had gotten pissed at him mid sex and they'd started fighting, and in the end, Yamapi just stormed out. A lot of hurtful, generalizing things left Yamapi's mouth in connection to that, like how gay men were so unstable and suspicious and couldn't deal with anything, but Toma just brushed it off in favour of the underlying message in Yamapi's story.

Inoo had apparently accused him of being very absentminded the past month or two, accused him of thinking of someone else all the time and claiming that he never took initiative to hang out anymore. And Toma tried his hardest not to think about it, not to think about that Yamapi might actually be in love with someone and the disastrous effects that would have. But he also thought, somewhere at the back of his mind, that a month or two was how long he'd been living with Yamapi.

Toma did his best to comfort Yamapi, but he was more pissed than sad and they ended up drinking whiskey and talking about life for a good part of the night.

In a way, it felt like that time back in high school when Yamapi got dumped and Toma just got his driver's license, and they drove off late at night just to think of something else.

Yamapi guided them to a viewing spot where you could look at the city skyline at night, and it was beautiful, one of those slightly magical moments where it felt like they were in a movie. Night air, early summer heat, a little wind and the neon lights illuminating the city beneath them.

But it was also a little awkward, since the other people there were all couples, evidently on dates.

Toma felt a little fluttery thinking about it as a date, because even if Yamapi spent the entire car ride there complaining about missing his ex-girlfriend, he stopped as soon as they arrived. Like she had somehow already disappeared.

But after a little while of silence, of Toma's heart beating almost out of his chest the more he thought of it as a date, that Yamapi chose to come to him when he felt upset, Yamapi broke the tension.

“Aren't all these couples depressing?” He asked, and Toma nodded reluctantly to agree. “I've got a laser pointer in my bag, wanna play around a bit?”

And the movie moment was gone, back to being silly high school boys just on the verge of adulthood, playing stupid pranks on poor couples trying to enjoy their romantic night.

The whiskey drinking was somehow acutely reminding Toma of that night, only that this time, Yamapi never said anything to end the movie moment.

 

~*~

 

Yamapi's shirt finally falls open and Toma takes great pleasure in sliding it down his arms, tracing muscles under smooth skin and he almost wonders if he's always had an unknown muscle kink. Or maybe it's just Yamapi.

Hands find his belt buckle, and Toma pulls Yamapi back down by his hair for another kiss as his pants are undone, the tiny awkwardness of being naked in front of the other quickly drowning in arousal. A rich moan escapes the kiss as Yamapi spreads Toma's bare legs and his erection rubs against Toma's inner thigh, making Toma shudder in response to the sound. The slick finger carefully poking between his legs couldn't be more welcome, and he falls out of the kiss to be able to breathe, hands clutching at Yamapi's back.

 

~*~

 

If Toma ever doubted that he might be the cause of Yamapi's stormy breakup, the confirmation came to him at work. Inoo spent almost an entire day giving him icy looks, and then slowly, people stopped talking to him. He wasn't invited for lunch, wasn't included in meetings unless it was absolutely necessary, and he started to hear people whisper around him.

He was also given extra work suddenly, batches of paper thrown on his desk fifteen minutes before quitting time or lunch, and Toma figured he couldn't do anything besides work harder through it. It couldn't take too long for Inoo's grudge to disappear, he hoped.

But more than a week passed and Yamapi asked with a frown if he was okay, commented on how he looked tired and that he came home so late these days. Toma just said it was fine.

“Here. I'll need someone revising these by tomorrow.” Inoo said as he dumped three thick reports on Toma's desk, but for once he didn't leave immediately.

“Okay.” Toma agreed tonelessly, having started to expect these things to happen by now.

But he didn't expect Inoo to lean over his desk, placing his elbows on either side of Toma's laptop in order to get in his face.

“You know, I don't know what he sees in you. You're just anyone, aren't you?” Inoo said, voice low and silky as he looked up at Toma under lashes in a way that would be seductive if his tone wasn't so lethal. “Does he fuck you?”

Toma wet his lips, tried to move back in the chair as he could feel the heat flaring up on his cheeks, but he couldn't even open his mouth before a smile spread on Inoo's lips.

“Aww, he doesn't, does he? He might think you're interesting Ikuta Toma, but you're never going to be what I was.” Inoo went on, the spite in his voice more evident and Toma just swallowed, trying not to take the words to heart but he couldn't stop himself.

A final smile and Inoo pulled back, tapping the pile of reports remindingly before leaving, cheerfully calling for some guy to let him buy him dinner.

Toma stared blindly at the piles of paper for a while, figuring that Inoo was right. Just because he was the reason Yamapi didn't care for Inoo anymore, it didn't mean he could replace him.

 

~*~

 

Yamapi's skin tastes amazing; warm, a little salty, a hint of cologne tang but Toma couldn't care less. His face is buried in Yamapi's neck to try and muffle his pathetic noises, but Yamapi's three fingers inside him already feel better than some of the dicks he's had and he can't help making them.

Yamapi's breathing harshly, small groans slipping out every time Toma involuntarily clenches around his fingers, every time Toma kisses his neck, and it all feels so surreal.

“Please?” Yamapi finally asks, voice deep and ragged and Toma almost comes, aroused enough that it takes him a second to understand what Yamapi means.

“Please.” He confirms, his own voice breathless and shallow, and Yamapi's fingers withdraw in order to hastily work on a condom.

They both cry out as Yamapi pushes inside, slow and steady, but the pressure still has Toma clawing at his skin. It's so good, but so much, and it's been so long his body didn't seem to remember how good this actually feels.

“Fuck, _Toma_.” Yamapi gets out as he bottoms out and pauses, sounding amazed in his breathlessness and Toma has never felt hotter in his entire life.

“Please.” Toma repeats, and the first thrust has him throwing his head back with a shameless moan.

 

~*~

 

Another week passed and Yamapi's suspicions didn't die down like Toma had expected them to. Instead, he almost went into mother hen mode as Toma stayed later and later at work, even going as far as to ask if they were nice to him at work.

Toma shrugged, a weak moment as he confessed that not many people talked to him anymore, and he saw Yamapi stiffen.

“Why not?” He asked, eyes as intense as they ever seemed to get, and Toma realized his mistake in saying anything, so he just shrugged again. And Yamapi didn't ask further questions.

At least he thought Yamapi had let it go, until Yamapi suddenly stormed into his department at three pm the following day looking like a thundercloud. Toma didn't notice him at first, buried in paperwork, but the gasps from the desks around him made him look up in time to see Yamapi walk straight up to Inoo's grand desk.

“You're such a petty little bitch, do you know that!?” Yamapi called, clearly not caring about appropriation or privacy as Inoo looked up with narrowed eyes.

“Good afternoon to you too.” He said acidly, which Toma only heard because his desk happened to be close enough.

“As a boss I'm pretty sure you're supposed to separate work from your private life, and you can _not_ go around and tell people to bully someone you're jealous of for some imaginary reason!” Yamapi went on, dramatically slamming his fist against the desk surface, eyes burning with anger and Inoo even seemed a little uncomfortable. “Grow the fuck up right now or I'm reporting this!”

“Wow, easy there tough guy.” Inoo said, but he didn't sound as confident as he usually did. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“I hope that after this, there will be nothing for me to be talking about.” Yamapi growled, before turning straight to Toma and nodding for him to come along, such an obvious order that Toma fumbled his laptop closed before scrambling up to follow.

It took him several corridors before he could muster the courage to ask.

“Why did you do that?”

Yamapi came to a halt, turning to look straight into his eyes and there was something urgent in them, that intensity again that Toma wasn't sure he'd seen before.

“Because I care about you, and he has no right to use his superiority to harass you, and because I heard all these things he's said about you and... I wanted to protect you.” Yamapi finally said, voice low and serious and Toma's heartbeat seemed to pick up with every word.

“I'm in love with you.” Toma blurted out, no brakes in his brain on duty right then, but Yamapi's eyes only shifted shade of dark, before replying in the same tone.

“Thank god.”

 

~*~

 

It feels like forever passes but it's still not enough, a mess of Yamapi's low grunts, skin slapping against skin and Toma's own embarrassing whining. He feels so slutty but only in the hot way, having Yamapi's full attention like this something he's wanted for too long be embarrassed about, despite the desperate noises coming out of his mouth. Yamapi seems to know his body as well as his personality despite never having touched it before, every thrust sending a rush of heat through Toma's veins and it makes him see stars at the corners of his eyes.

Toma's reaching out for anything he can, Yamapi's chest and arms and back and hair, anything because he wants everything.

He can tell when Yamapi's getting close, his voice going a little whinier, more sensitive to every single touch, and Toma finally reaches down with a shaky hand to touch himself.

Everything happens very quickly, Toma's body constricting and Yamapi's tongue flicking out to lick sweat off his neck, a rougher thrust and a perfect stroke, and Toma comes.

His orgasm is white hot, and he thrashes because he doesn't know what to do with himself throughout the pleasure gushing through him.

He comes down sensitive, but he can see how close Yamapi is, how dark his half closed eyes are, and he pushes himself up for a final dirty kiss as Yamapi releases with a deep groan.

He crashes on top of Toma, and even if it's a little suffocating, Toma wraps his arms around him to hold him as tight as he can.

“I'm in love with you too, you know that, right?” Yamapi mumbles against Toma's collar bone, voice calmer than Toma thinks his own is. “Kind of have been since high school I guess but I was scared.”

Toma just smiles and threads his fingers through Yamapi's hair, just because he can. “I'm still scared.”

“Mmm.” Yamapi hums, cuddling a little closer, clearly not caring about the mess on Toma's stomach sticking between them like glue. “Don't worry. I'll protect you.”

 

~*~

 

 

 


End file.
